Emmaleen Laura

I’m not coming back (forgive me)
I’ve done something so terrible
I’m terrified to speak (I’m not calling, I’m not calling)
But you’d expect that from me
I’m mixed up, I’ll be blunt, now the rain is just (You’re driving me crazy, I’m)
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world,
From so many thousands of feet off the ground, I’m over you now
I’m at home in the clouds, and towering over your head

She seems dressed in all the rings
Of past fatalities
So fragile yet so devious
She continues to see it
Climatic hands that press
Her temples and my chest
Enter the night that she came home
Forever

Oh (She’s the only one that makes me sad)

She is everything and more
The solemn hypnotic
My Dahlia bathed in possession
She is home to me

I get nervous, perverse, when I see her it’s worse
But the stress is astounding
It’s now or never she’s coming home
Forever

Oh (She’s the only one that makes me sad)

Hard to say what caught my attention
Fixed and crazy, Aphid attraction
Carve my name in my face, to recognize
Such a pheromone cult to terrorize

I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me

(Yeah!)

(oh-oh)
I’m a slave, and I am a master
No restraints and, unchecked collectors
I exist through my need, to self oblige
She is something in me, that I despise

I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me

I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me
I won’t let this build up inside of me

SHE ISN’T REAL!
I CAN’T MAKE HER REAL!
SHE ISN’T REAL!
I CAN’T MAKE HER REAL!

She isn’t real (She isn’t real)
I can’t make her real (can’t make her real)
She isn’t real (She isn’t real)
I can’t make her real (can’t make her real)

Maybe i need some rehab
or maybe just need some sleep
I got a sick obsession
I’m seein it in my dreams
I’m lookin down every alley
i’m makin those desperate calls
i’m stayin up all night hopin hitin my head against the wall

what you got boy, is hard to find
i think about it all the time
im all strung out my heart is fried
i just cant get you off my mind!

because your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love
i said your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love

wont listen to any advice
mommas tellin me i should think twice
but look into my own devices, im addicted its a crisis
my friends think ive gone crazy
my judgments gettin kinda hazy
My esteem is gonna be affected if i keep it up like a love sick crack head

what you got boy, is hard to find
i think about it all the time
im all strung out my heart is fried
i just cant get you off my mind!

because your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love
i said your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love

i dont care what people say
the rush is worth the price i pay
i get so high when your with me
but crash and crave you when you leave

hey, so i got a question
do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?
do i make your heart beat like an 808 drum
is my love your drug? your drug?
hi, your drug?
hi, your drug?
is my love your drug?

because your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love
i said your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love

because your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love
i said your love your love your love is my drug
your love your love your love

hey, heyy, sooo
you love, your love your love, is my drug
i like your beard

i would just like to ask when the fuck everyone started living in their messed up minds. twisting, deceiving, fake exterior, crazy, dark, planning, looking for conflict. the rest may as well be brick walls or parrots.

are my cries for help not drenched enough in tears, are my screams for saviour to smothered from the build up of gunk on my chest that is added to day and day from trying to drown my worries in substances.
i cant not do this anymore, dont beleive me when i say everything is going to be ok. im trying as hard as i can to come to peace, i like to tell myself.
I’m never going to get over this, it’s a disease that i have to struggle with. breath in and out, sit very still because with one movement my life is over.
i long for peace, i want to feel at home. all i need is home but i can promise you now that wont fix anything because once i am there i will be searching for the better things.

i just want to live life to the fullest or not live at all, i want to stand on a cliff over the sea and scream so hard that i cant breathe from the dryness on my throat.Then turn around and see the city lights staring back at me.
i want to drive as fast as any car will let me on the wrong side of the road at 4am with the speakers making my ears bleed just knowing that everything will work out, for the better or worst.
i want to run through a daisy field barefoot holding my princes hand, i want to wait for a decade knowing that someone who truly loves my is not resting till they’re face to ace with me hearing my voice.
i want to climb down from my tree top home, walk down to the crystal clear waterfall willed water where i will lay for hours and think about how great it is not to care anymore.
i want everyone to be happy, i want smile field birthdays for everyone and not once house with less then 3 people on Christmas eve. nobody should be alone or treated like a 17th century slave.
i dont want anyone having crazy withdrawals, no one needs that. i dont want girls selling themselves just only for a couple hours of  some make-believe head space that they’ve created.
i want my mum, i want all my family back, i want my room, i want my animals, i want my child hood toys, i want childhood forever, I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE. i dont want to grow up.

but y the fuck should what i want matter because i am just a grain of dirt on this mountain that we call a world that is being taken over by vandlism, drugs, hate and lust. how hypocritical.
nothing is ever going to change, im never going to get any of these things and i’ve come to terms with that. i just dont choose to accept it
we’re all put in this together and no one is let of that easy, everyone will always long for that one this extra even if it’s material, mental, social or environmental.
im not special from the next person and i know this. just, when my day comes it will be that extravagant that the world will remember my name. no wonder i haven’t wasted it yet.

walking these streets waiting to escape in the sunrise, wearing hardly anything at all. head spinning legs giving way i think this time i cant controll this. despratly looking for my lat ciggie fuck i forgot a fucking lighter. trying to call anyone in my phone just so im able to get on to sleep. will this ever end, my quest for peace i dont want to worry about anything all want is to just be happy. im just waiting on your drive way staring at the stars waiting for you, your never coming around.